Funny Quotes Pictures Images Photos 2013

Funny Quotes Definition

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If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
More funny Dick Cavett quotes
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
More funny Phyllis Diller quotes
As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest."
More funny Bill Cosby quotes
My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own parenthood, but it didn't because parenting can be learned only by people who have no children.
More funny Bill Cosby quotes
Parents like the idea of kids, they just don't like their kids.
More funny Morley Safer quotes
Smack your child every day. If you don't know why -- he does.
More funny Joey Adams quotes
Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.
More funny Russell Baker quotes
I like children. Properly cooked.
More funny W. C. Fields quotes
Children are a great comfort in your old age -- and they help you reach it faster, too.
More funny Lionel Kauffman quotes
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
More funny Robert Orben quotes
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
More funny George Bernard Shaw quotes
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.
More funny Mark Twain quotes
I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.
More funny Dave Barry quotes
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
More funny Erma Bombeck quotes
The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
More funny Quentin Crisp quotes
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
More funny Rita Rudner quotes
I want to have children and I know my time is running out: I want to have them while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
More funny Rita Rudner quotes
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
More funny Bill Cosby quotes
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
More funny Erma Bombeck quotes
You make 'em, I amuse 'em.
More funny Dr. Theodore Seuss Geisel quotes
Before I was married, I had a hundred theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories.
More funny John Wilmot quotes
I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived. (Horse Feathers)
More funny Groucho Marx quotes
You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it. (Horse Feathers)
More funny Groucho Marx quotes
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
More funny Samuel Butler quotes
Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
More funny W. C. Fields quotes
Pretty much all the honest truth telling there is in the world is done by children.
More funny Oliver Wendell Holmes quotes
In automobile terms, the child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.
More funny Benjamin Spock quotes
There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother's age.
More funny Benjamin Spock quotes
I love kids. I was a kid myself, once.
More funny Tom Cruise quotes
I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant
More funny Dean Martin quotes
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
More funny Sam Levenson quotes
When I was born my father spent three weeks trying to find a loophole in my birth certificate.
More funny Jackie Vernon quotes
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
More funny Roseanne Barr quotes
When my husband comes home, if the kids are still alive, I figure I've done my job.
More funny Roseanne Barr quotes
Your sons weren't made to like you. That's what grandchildren are for.
More funny Jane Smiley quotes
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
More funny Red Buttons quotes
I didn’t make Dale Jr. go be a racer. The kid wanted to be a racer. I’d just as soon him be a doctor, a preacher or whatever. I’m not sure I’d want him to be a lawyer.
More funny Dale Earnhardt quotes
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
More funny Bob Hope quotes
The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires.
More funny Dorothy Parker quotes
Each generation has been an education for us in different ways. The first child-with-bloody-nose was rushed to the emergency room. The fifth child-with-bloody-nose was told to go to the yard immediately and stop bleeding on the carpet.
More funny Art Linkletter quotes
When you are 12, you no longer need the parents.
More funny Roman Polanski quotes
A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.
More funny Bill Vaughan quotes
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
More funny Fran Lebowitz quotes
Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
More funny Fran Lebowitz quotes
Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than "Where's your manuscript?" Why haven't you called?" and "Who's your lawyer?"
More funny Fran Lebowitz quotes
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
More funny Fran Lebowitz quotes
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible...and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
More funny Victor Borge quotes

Funny Quotes Pictures Images Photos 2013

Funny Quotes Pictures Images Photos 2013

Funny Quotes Pictures Images Photos 2013

Funny Quotes Pictures Images Photos 2013

Funny Quotes Pictures Images Photos 2013

Funny Quotes Pictures Images Photos 2013

Funny Quotes Pictures Images Photos 2013

Funny Quotes Pictures Images Photos 2013

Funny Quotes Pictures Images Photos 2013

Funny Quotes Pictures Images Photos 2013

Funny Quotes Pictures Images Photos 2013

Short Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Short Quotes On Love Definition 

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Funny Valentine Quotes shine a 500 watt halogen on some of the things we need to say on Valentines Day and some things we should keep our distance. Choose from the following the phrases things you may want to say to your Valentine.
"What the world really needs is more love and less paper work."
Pearl Bailey
‘I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.'
Dorothy Parker.
'My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.'
Rita Rudner.
‘Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.’
Aristotle
‘If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?’
Anonymous
‘Love is like a river, always changing, but always finding you again somewhere down the road.’
Kelly Elaine
’Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.’
Hawkeye, M.A.S.H.
‘Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.’
Anon
‘Friendship is one mind in two bodies.’
Mencius
"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke."
Lynda Barry
“Love is a game that two can play and both win.”
Eva Gabor
“When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.”
Natalie Clifford Barney
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."
Rita Rudner
“Love is like war. Easy to begin with but hard to end”
Unknown
‘All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt…’
Lucy Van Pelt, Peanuts
’ Love is just a chocolate substitute.’
Melanie Clark
"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?" Lily Tomlin
‘Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.’
Hoosier Farmer
‘I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.’
Anonymous
‘We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.’
Tim McGraw
‘My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.’
Lee Iacocca
‘If you walk in front of me, I may not follow.
If you walk behind me, I may not lead.
If you walk beside me, I will be your friend.’
Albert Camus
‘You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.’
Chico Marx
"Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too."
Joyce Carol Oates
’A kiss is an application on the top floor a job in the basement.’
Unknown
‘Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.’
Anonymous
‘Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.’
Thomas Robert Dewar
'Women are cursed, and men are the proof.'
Rosanne Barr.
'Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.'
Mickey Rooney.
‘I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.’
Anonymous

Short Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Short Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Short Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Short Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Short Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Short Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Short Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Short Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Short Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Short Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Short Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Christian Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Christian Quotes On Love Definition 

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When a rage for authenticity meets a passionate fakery meets a workingman's attitude, you get this guy. An actor of great dimension — just don't call him that. And he'll probably win some big award for his role in The Fighter, but don't dare tell him that. A funny and sometimes testy encounter with Mr. Bale.
Christian Bale comes to the bar dressed in a regular-guy windbreaker and looking much more scruffy and handsome — charming, rakish, ne'er-do-well, with a piratical mustache and goatee — than he ever lets himself look in movies. His English accent hits a sweet spot on the higher edge of working class, with a hint of the warm burr of his native Wales. He orders a Stella and expresses polite concern about the noise level and the tape recorder. But within minutes it becomes blindingly clear that he'd be much happier asking the questions than answering them.
A standoff ensues not unlike thescene in Antonioni's The Passenger when Jack Nicholson is interviewing a witch doctor who clearly thinks he's an obnoxious idiot. "Your questions are much more revealing about yourself than my answers will be about me," the witch doctor says, turning the camera around so it's pointing at Nicholson. Major existential moment as Nicholson stares into the abyss between sign and signifier. But we have seen this movie, and it does not turn out well — the spell must be reversed.
BALE: Well, it's embarrassing to be a star. Most people look at you like, "That's not a fucking job, is it?" And then on top of that, you learn very quickly that you're just a tool — other people are manipulating everything you do, you're at the mercy of editors, and there's nothing you can do. But I learned that there's a certain character that can be built from embarrassing yourself endlessly. If you can sit happy with embarrassment, there's not much else that can really get to ya.
When a rage for authenticity meets a passionate fakery meets a workingman's attitude, you get this guy. An actor of great dimension — just don't call him that. And he'll probably win some big award for his role in The Fighter, but don't dare tell him that. A funny and sometimes testy encounter with Mr. Bale.
ESQUIRE: You don't want to be a vain movie star, I totally get it, I respect it. But there's nothing that's more of a dick movie-star move than to say, "It has to be printed as a Q&A." That's movie star. You and Tom Cruise back in the day are the only people who do that shit.
BALE: That's not true! [laughing] We're not the only ones. And it was like I said yesterday, it came from a couple of interviews where they just made up a whole bunch of crap in their effort to practice writing their novel.
BALE: Because I've enjoyed interviews so much when the writer has said to me, "You know what? Not my thing. Didn't like it too much." I find that endlessly entertaining.
It's actually a terrific movie. Directed by the wildly unpredictable David O. Russell, it's a naturalistic tour de force with Mark Wahlberg playing a mean-streets Massachusetts boxer named Micky Ward and Bale as his older brother Dickie, a professional boxer turned crackhead.
ESQUIRE: There was something really sweet about Dickie, even though he's a crackhead.
BALE: He's a sweet crackhead, isn't he? I'm so fond of Dickie. I was just talking with him today. He just loves people so much, and then he messes up.
ESQUIRE: I love the way he jumps out the window every time his mom comes over.
BALE: All true! Dickie and me went walking around the town and every single bar, there's some incident that they can talk about that happened with Dickie there. A few of the bars, he's not allowed in. He's like the mayor. He walks down the street, everybody shouting out, "Dickie! Dickie!"
ESQUIRE: The sisters were awesome.
BALE: They're an endlessly entertaining family. One of them got upset with the portrayal that was being done, and there was a few suggestions of physical actions that might happen if the actress continued to represent her in that way. But then that was all solved in the bar.
His phone rings and he leans away with a hand over one ear.
BALE: Oh darling, I told you, I've got to do a blah-blah meeting, you'd be really bored here ... we're just sitting at a table talking stupid stuff... But I can't, darling, there's a man who's flown all the way out here. I promise when I come back, I'll give you a big kiss and a hug.
I mean, first of all, let me say whichever superhero first came up with the idea of wearing a cape, he wasn't really onto anything good. The number of times I'm treading on that damn thing or I throw a punch and it ends up covering my whole head. It's really not practical.
Christian Bale
No, only disappointment in myself on those occasions I didn't manage to rise to the occasion as I felt I should've done. I can always see how to do it, and then the challenge is, Can I manage that each and every day?
Christian Bale

Christian Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Christian Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Christian Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Christian Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Christian Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Christian Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Christian Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Christian Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Christian Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Christian Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Christian Quotes On Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Time Quotes Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Time Quotes Love Definition

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True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. -Erich Segal,

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question -Lily Tomlin

Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance. -Unknown

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. -Henry Youngman

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. -Mae West

Always marry the man of your age because if your beauty will fade so will his eye sight. -Unknown, funny love quote.

Don't fall for anyone, unless they are willing to catch you. -Unknown

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. -Albert Einstein

I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it. -Woody Allen

I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them. -Mae West, funny love quotes.

The bravest thing that men do is love women -Mort Sahl

One should always be in love. That is the reason why one should never marry. -Oscar Wilde

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. -Woody Allen

You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories. -Melanie Clark

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. -Groucho Marx

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. -Josh Billings

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. - Woody Allen

One is very crazy when in love. -Sigmund Freud

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell -Joan Crawford

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. -Samuel Johnson

You call it madness, but I call it love. -Don Byas

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. -Unknown

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What... does a woman want?" -Sigmund Freud

Never sign a Valentine with your own name. -Charles Dickens

Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to. -Alfred Montapert

Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life. -Unknown

I have great hopes that we shall greatly appreciate each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. -Lord Byron

It is impossible to love and be wise -Francis Bacon

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. -Albert Einstein

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. -Cathy Carlyle

Love is being stupid together. -Paul Valery

Love is a grave mental disease -Plato

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. -Christopher Marlowe

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended. -Cher

Love is just like a card game; first kick out the jokers, then throw away hearts, keep the diamond and try to win the king. -Unknown

Love is a promise delivered already broken. -Steve Martin

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw -Fran Lebowitz

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. -Albert Einstein

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me. -Winston Churchill

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. -Brendan Francis

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull. -H. L. Mencken, funny love quotes.

You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty. -Unknown

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one. -Mae West

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. -Melanie Griffith

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one -Glenn Beck

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. -Pearl Bailey

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. -Unknown

Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat. -Ben Hecht

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman -Oscar Wilde

But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down -Woody Allen

Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker. -Unknown, funny love quotes.

I am not one of those who do not believe in love at first sight, but I believe in taking a second look. -H. Vincent funny love quotes.

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -Agatha Christie

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? -Bette Midler

Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing. -Jonathon Swift

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species -W. Somerset Maugham

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate -Sandra J. Dykes, funny love quotes.

The only people who make love all the time are liars -Louis Jordan

Time Quotes Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Time Quotes Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Time Quotes Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Time Quotes Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Time Quotes Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Time Quotes Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Time Quotes Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Time Quotes Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Time Quotes Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Time Quotes Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Time Quotes Love Pictures Images Photos 2013

Quotes About Loved Ones Pictures Images Photos 2013

Quotes About Loved Ones Definition

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The joy of the Christmas holiday season is overshadowed by the stress of the holiday shopping season each year for American consumers. What follows are funny and inspirational quotes about Christmas gifts and holiday shopping that will help lift the mood of the average American shopper and remind us all not to take the Christmas holiday shopping, consuming and preparations too seriously.
"As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same." - Donald E. Westlake, crime fiction writer
"One good thing about Christmas shopping it toughens you for the January sales." - Grace Kriley
"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree:  the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other."  - Burton Hillis, columnist and author
"Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas." - Peg Bracken, author
Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it.  Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it. - Richard Lamm, former Governor of Colorado
"Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money." - Author unknown
"A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing." ~ Author unknown
"From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it." ~ Katharine Whitehorn, British columnist
"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice." - Dave Barry, humor columnist
"The magi, as you know, were wise men — wonderfuly wise men who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents." - O. Henry, short story writer
"Wretched excess is an unfortunate human trait that turns a perfectly good idea such as Christmas into a frenzy of last-minute shopping." - Jon Anderson, musician
"Consider Christmas — could Satan in his most malignant mood have devised a worse combination of graft plus bunkum than the system whereby several hundred million people get a billion or so gifts for which they have no use, and some thousands of shop clerks die of exhaustion while selling them, and every other child in the Western world is made ill from overeating — all in the name of the lowly Jesus?" - Upton Sinclair, author
"Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don't quite know how to put our love into words." - Harlan Miller, writer
“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included”. – English Proverb
"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph." ~ Shirley Temple, child actor and former U.S. ambassador
"Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money." ~ Author Unknown
"Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?" ~ Bill Watterson, cartoonist and creator of Calvin and Hobbes
"Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect." - Oren Arnold, author
"Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space." - Dave Barry, humor columnist
"One of the nice things about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present." ~ Author Unknown
Once you’ve trimmed the tree, fought the crowds to buy the perfect presents, and travelled to see your family and friends, it’s time to slow down and remember that Christmas should be fun. Today’s quotes are funny quotes for Christmas, which display the lighter side of the holiday.
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
-George Carlin
View slideshow: Funny Christmas quotes
“Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.' I suppose you could say 'Merry Christmas' and 'Happy New Year,' but you probably have sh*t to do.”
-Jon Stewart
“People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.”
-Ogden Nash
“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”
-Johnny Carson
“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.”
-Andy Rooney
“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”
-Dave Barry
“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.”
-Jay Leno
“Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.”
-Frank McKinney Hubbard
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”
-Shirley Temple
“There has been only one Christmas--the rest are anniversaries.”
-W.J. Cameron
“Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.”
-Gary Allan
“There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.”
-P.J. O'Rourke
“The threat of Christmas hung in the air, visible already in the fretful look of passersby as they readied themselves for the meaningless but necessary rites of false jovialities and ill-considered gifts.”
-Peter Dickinson
“From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.”
-Katharine Whitehorn
“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”
-Bernard Manning
“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”
-Victor Borge

Quotes About Loved Ones Pictures Images Photos 2013

Quotes About Loved Ones Pictures Images Photos 2013

Quotes About Loved Ones Pictures Images Photos 2013

Quotes About Loved Ones Pictures Images Photos 2013

Quotes About Loved Ones Pictures Images Photos 2013

Quotes About Loved Ones Pictures Images Photos 2013

Quotes About Loved Ones Pictures Images Photos 2013

Quotes About Loved Ones Pictures Images Photos 2013

Quotes About Loved Ones Pictures Images Photos 2013

Quotes About Loved Ones Pictures Images Photos 2013

Quotes About Loved Ones Pictures Images Photos 2013